When Life Gives You Lemons...

Anak ng pakshet. I feel so disoriented these days. Yes, this is me not very good at dealing with life's little detours and not-so-nice surprises. I know, I know... this too shall pass. But seriously, I am frakking stressed right now and I still so much like George W. Bush when he was told the WTC towers were hit by airplanes and I was already feeling like this, I think, two weeks ago and I still haven't moved on. Gah! This is so frustrating. I am so frustrated at myself for going things at the last minute. I swear ang bagal ko. Haven't had tarps done yet and they're, like, very important information-dissemination tools re: the move. I had flyers done already but guess what? The landline number I put there was wrong. Bravo. Pakshet talaga yang homeowner's association na 'yan. Haha ang passive-aggressive ko lang talaga. Shet ang schizo ko lang din.

Oh, Lisa, I hope the day comes I can say this too

Another thing that's making me so frustrated right now is my skin. Eh kasi nga vain ako kahit hindi halata. I noticed that my skin's acting up again and the dark patches are here again at mukha na akong dalmatian sa dami ng spots ko. And you know what they say, shopping ang outlet ng malungkot. Because I am frustrated with my fez, I splurged on skin products- I bought a skin care regimen set from VMV (which is actually a steal, mind you, cos if you get the set, it's like you get one product for free and no, I'm not saying this just because I am justifying my purchase) and I made Lola X buy me SK-II in Singapore. In fair naman to the facial scrub- Skin -buffing Cleansing Scrub- it is effective. I haven't used anything else (maybe except kojic acid soap occasionally) and my skin hasn't had any breakouts yet. I think hiyang ako dito (pwera usog) although medyo nag-dry nga yung mga dati nang problem areas ko. I'm on week 2 of this new regimen and hopefully, it will really work wonders on my complexion.

Okay, another thing I am super mega over frustrated about is the weight. Sabi ko lose 20 lbs. Not GAIN. As in WTF talaga. I know I gained 10 lbs which I blamed on medication and excessive food intake over the Christmas holiday pero ano'ng petsa na?!?!? Usually I lose the added poundage after a few months pero July na and instead of losing, I gained weight pa! But honestly, I think I was a little sluggish and inactive this year. So I think I won't be taking that guilt-free month-long break in January after my holiday high. Medyo mahirap kasi kunin ang momentum and since I already got the ball rolling over the holidays, might as well take advantage. Feel na feel ko na ang bigat ko. Argh.

I haven't ranted like this in a loooong time. I still feel bad after. Pwe.

Update Time!

I noticed that most of my posts are all about the books I've read and there's nothing about what's happening in my life and while there's really nothing of significance happening in it, allow me to bore you with the most mundane things.

First off, my favorite TV series have all premiered (except for Suburgatory). I was most excited about Hart of Dixie but I must say I am a tad bit disappointed with the first three episodes. First, there was no Jonah Breeland. I was so rooting for him and Zoe but look what Zoe lugged into Bluebell

The boyfriend, Joel, seemed very much like a nerd (not that I don't like nerds because I adore nerds but nerds who look like John Cusack, Shia LaBeouf or Dan Humphrey from GG Season 1) and as of now, he is not showing any signs of asshole-ness, but still the question is- WHERE IS JONAH BREELAND? Can we like break this two up and put Jonah in the scene? I am so itching to find out what ever happened between Zoe and Jonah over the course of five months in New York City, what ever happened during that night after the wedding. I need to know ASAP. But all I could do is wait, albeit impatiently.

And gaahd, do not get me started on George Tucker. During the latter parts of the second season, I was already iffy if my vote is still on George (because Wade really seemed to like Zoe and he's sort of growing on me (but I still think the abs did it for me LOL) and Jonah is charming and cute) but I feel that my loyalty is with George and I am the only person I know who's rooting for him. I guess I didn't love him unconditionally. I was against his relationship with Tansy and I am definitely against whatever it is he has with this Linley. Right now, George Tucker has lost my vote. I am definitely rooting for Jonah, 100% percent.

How I Met Your Mother is, as usual, very funny and never fails to pick me up on a bad day. However, it's impending end makes me sad. It always happens with series I love- you can't wait for it to end so you'll know how it'll end up but when the end is near, you don't want it to end just yet. I do not feel the same with New Girl. I am disappointed with the first few episodes and I am so bored with what's happening in that show. Now that Jessica and Nick are an item, there's nothing to look forward to. I dunno...

Awkward. Now, this show has come back from hiatus and the continuation of its third season was kick-ass. It was a little expected but I didn't know it would be this soon. Come to think of it, Jenna has always had problems with being faithful. She cheated on Matty with Jake. She cheated on Jake with Matty. And now, she's cheating on Matty with Colin. Clearly, the girl has never been contented with what she has. I guess Sadie might be right on this one~ that Jenna could be a hideous skank. But then again, Colin is soo fine

ahjumma moment :P

Last season I never even liked Colin but after reading The Duff and thought of Colin as Wesley Rush, he suddenly becomes hot. Haha. Plus, although I found Matty cute before, this is how he looks like now

Now, don't you agree with me that Colin is so much hotter than Matty? Well, first it was Jake who suddenly didn't look cute and now, Matty. Matty, show your abs.. quick! Haha. Omigosh, I am officially an ahjumma. But still, Colin's hotness doesn't justify Jenna's cheating. I am so excited for the next episode ☺

So now we're done with my series. Oh, I joined a bazaar in a mall first week of October and I just recovered my rent for the space. I don't know if I'd join their next bazaars being that I never ROI. I really thought this time would be better since it's nearer Christmas and people might be in the mood to shop for gifts already. Well I was wrong. People still aren't buying for Christmas gifts and there was typhoon in the metro at the time and I was feeling under the weather. But I was able to give out my cards so I just hope I'll get orders from those two stints.

By the way, a leasing manager is interested in giving me a space in a mall. I don't know. I don't think I'm ready yet and I don't know if I can pull off a mall space. Mall rent is helluva expensive, for one, and I need to pay someone to man the shop. Personally, I don't think this is possible given my financial state and my sister and I are more interested in doing consignment deals where there is no overhead expenses. However, my mom thinks I should do it. Sabi niya she'd help me but I'm just very skeptical right now and knowing my mother, if I remind her about helping me on this one, moral support na naman ibibigay sa'kin nun.

I've been feeling very lethargic and a little down in the dumps recently. I don't know if the hormones are to blame or the meds. I am usually happy at this time of the year because I love love love Christmas. I love hearing Christmas songs on the radio and the smell of tinsels. I don't what is it with this year that I do not feel the same. I hope by next month I feel better. I was thinking nga maybe I should visit tumblr more often again for inspiration, be positive shizz. Speaking of tumblr, I got this in my email last week

Wow that was already five years!?! Amazing. I started tumblr when only very, very few people were into it. I love tumblr and love it more than Pinterest and I have so much to be thankful for it because it is where I get my feel-good shizz from. So baka nagpaparamdam lang si tumblr, alam niya na medyo down ako ngayon kaya sabi niya, 'Hi, andito lang ako.' Haha.

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Stop comparing where you're at with where everyone else is. It doesn't move you farther ahead, improve your situation, or help you find peace. It just feeds your shame, fuels your feelings of inadequacy, and ultimately, it keeps you stuck. The reality is that there is no one correct path in life. Everyone has their own unique journey. A path that's right for someone else won't necessarily be a path that's right for you. And that's okay. Your journey isn't right or wrong, good or bad. It's just different. Your life isn't meant to look like anyone else's because you aren't like anyone else. You're a person all your own with a unique set of goals, obstacles, dreams and needs. So stop comparing and start living. You may have not ended up where you intended to go. But trust, for once, that you have ended up where you needed to be. Trust that you are in the right place at the right time. Trust that your life is enough. Trust that you are enough. -- Daniell Koepke

I seriously should stop checking Facebook all the frickin' time because the yabang people are getting to me. I was with a friend last week and we were talking about yesteryears and our lives today. I told her that I may have regretted a lot of things I have done or haven't done but I have never regretted not pursuing the law degree. Maybe just once when all my friends and classmates were graduating law school and passing the bar, but after that not anymore. Maybe this time I'm just thinking too much. I should stop thinking too much and start working. But I feel so weak and bloated and lethargic. Maybe I should start exercising. That'd be like hitting two birds with one stone- I'd lose some weight and when I exercise I'd produce endorphins and endorphins will make me happy. Ergo, I will zumba tomorrow. No excuses, okay?

So yesterday I watched a movie with mommy. Usually I do not go with my mommy because almost always, we end up bickering about the most walang kwenta things like commercials on TV or opposing opinions about just about anything. Well, I was feeling sad nga and I needed a pick-me-upper and what better pick-me-upper than watching a movie. I did pay for it pero keri lang, libre naman ni mommy ang merienda-cena. So we watched She's The One. First and foremost, ang ganda ng skin ni Bea. Second, kudos to finally having a nose job because she looks so much better now. Her schnoz used to bug me big time (I have ugly schnoz, uglier than her then-schnoz, but then again I am not on TV) and I really wanted her to get a nose job and finally she did. Yay! Now she looks so much prettier and I do not get distracted by her nose anymore.

Regarding the movie... it was pretty okay, nice. Alam mo bilib talaga ako sa Star Cinema movies. After TGIS, I never really liked Dingdong Dantes but this movie made me not not like him. Feeling ko mas may future siya sa ABS or GMA needs to hire better writers (with dramas with titles such as Yesterday's Bride, they definitely need new writers). The movie was a little bit cheesy and there was this part where it got super cheesy that I almost puked. That was the part where Enrique Gil met the girl in the rain aka Bea after posting his plea online. If I were the girl, sobrang mako-kornihan ako. Ang jeje no. Anyway, being a story about best friends who were secretly in love with each other (sadyang dense lang sila), I am reminded right away of my Sienna+Nick story, so I am now re-reading This Is A Love Story.

It was a nice story. Medyo cliché but I guess everything's a cliché nowadays.

Just a an update on something new: AC, AD and I ate at this new Mexican restaurant in Kapitolyo- Silantro. Because I love silantro (wansoy) and I love love love its smell- I enjoyed the food tremendously

nachos with lotsa cheese!!

pork ribs. ribs talaga.

burrito

All with silantro dip. Nom nom  nom~

And on that note, I bid you adieu ♥ Here's wishing to a better tomorrow!

DOWN TIME

I haven't been in the best of moods these days. Actually, I feel the 'hostile' me is back. I don't like it one bit because it is exhausting!!! I feel lethargic (AGAIN). I am not happy. Sige na nga, I'm blaming it on the hormones.

So I found this new series that is kinda floating my boat nowadays and I do a little research on it and I find out that it's been canceled. CANCELED!!! Half -season. Not even full. And I think it deserves a full season, at the very least. I thought it was interesting enough to keep me awake until 4 in the morning. This is devastating. Anyway, the series I'm referring to is Emily Owens, MD. FYI. This is just too tragic for me. So how else will be able to look at this face???

Tragic. I guess me and my favorite series are star-crossed lovers... never meant to be together. Me and Chuck. Me and Emily Owens MD. Too tragic. Just two episodes left. How else can they give me a decent ending with just two episodes left? I guess Emily just ends up with Micah then? This series deserves a full season, hell, even a second season, more than Glee!

oh d-d-d-dear

In panic mode already.

I have a bazaar this coming Sunday and I don't have labels yet. And I really thought I started early na this year, hindi pa rin.

So I'm now super duper tired and I'm still flip-flopping whether to get this new printer (which, by the way, is more expensive than my suki. in case you didn't know, my suki's printing machine broke down when their building caught fire). Hope this is a blessing in disguise. So anyhoo, since I'm exhausted and I haven't had a decent shut eye and people around me are being super slow and emotera, I'm SUPER CRANKY today. All I'm asking for is a little initiative. Turns out common sense is not so common after all. ARGH.

{cranky pants}

Do not cross me. 

You have been warned. 

an idle mind is an emo's playground

It's emo time! Although I have Awkward to look forward to tomorrow :) But aside from that, it's pretty dismal here.

I'm quasi-depressed. I don't know if it has something to do with my impending 30th birthday...

I know 30's not that old but it's some sort of a milestone in one's life. When I was 15, I thought that by the age 30, I'd be married with kids and have a job as a corporate lawyer in a big company. Right now I'm grateful that at 29, I am not married nor do I have kids and am not a lawyer. Maybe God really works in wondrous ways and knows what's best for us ;) But still, my idea of success (FINANCIAL!) seems out of my grasp. I'm so lazy and unproductive kasi. Like today, I slept almost the entire day. I could've accomplished a lot with my time but instead, I just lay there on my bed and watched Korean stuff. Grabe, I've been putting off the important things for YEARS already. Talagang I put the PRO in procrastination. 

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I miss my youth... no worries kasi. Back in high school, my only concerns were being in my class's Top 10 every quarter and being home by 5pm just so I could watch Hey! Arnold on Nickelodeon. Oh man, I looove cartoons ♥ I was addicted to Nickelodeon. Who remembers The Offbeats?

"Hey Betty Ann Bongo, your shoes are untied!" Classic. 

Going down memory lane ang emote ko today. This is so frustrating. Argh. 

So there, I vented already... I'm a little okay now. Will be watching another episode of Rooftop Prince while labeling diffusers. I guess I love Christmas because time moves extremely fast and I'm so busy that I don't have time to think too much. I guess I'm too idle lang kaya maraming oras mag-emote. Anyway, I need a pick-me-upper so I can end the day on a happy note. And yea, Awkward tomorrow ☺

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days like these

Feeling like this last week pa. My positivity chuva isn't working either. I never thought I'd feel so--- alone. Shet,  nakanangemo ko. Pero promise, I feel shitty.

If I were a cartoon character, I'd be Garfield. Aside from Helga, that is. I think I am a cross between Helga G. Pataki and Garfield. I'm a hostile, fat cat.

This Janis Ian song sort of summarizes how I feel now~

On days like these 

When the rain won't fall

And the sky is so dry

That even birds can't call

I promised myself I'd watch Dawson's Creek all over again... and wallow in self-pity. I DL'd almost every DC song I could find and most of them were emo-ish. Buti na lang hindi umuulan ngayon, kundi perfect condition for sulking na ito. I know this too shall pass... We all have these moments. 

But you can't reap what you don't sow

And you can't plant in fallow ground

So let us fill this empty earth with hope

Until the rains come down

I can make my peace

With days like these

Frakkit. I'll go watch New Girl na nga lang for feel-good vibes. 

what to do on a weary wednesday

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Yup, it's definitely one of those days. Feeling crappy today and I think I know why but I don't want to share. Thanks to waking up to Chico-Delamar-Gino-Fran on the radio because for three hours I wasn't in a melancholic state of mind. So what better way to banish off bad vibes than to go on tumblr and find feel good stuff. Seriously, tumblr has been and is some sort of therapy for me.

Source: Ciarabella

Yes, that is what I am trying to do- KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON. I've been keeping calm and carrying on for quite a while already. I really need to pull my shit together. Been procrastinating since I don't know when and if I really want to make it work, I should stop putting things on hold. Parang for the longest time I've been wanting things to happen but I'm not really doing anything, I'm just waiting for the bayabas to fall off the tree. Juan Tamad ba. And I really think I need to step it up, move it a notch higher. I will start with decluttering again. I've done this several times but I always end up with clutter a few days after and I tend to get overwhelmed with the mess. 

Source: spreadhappyness

So I need lots of happy thoughts today. I don't want to go to the shop today so I am thinking of stuff I need to do right here at home like my websites, put up more so my products will have more exposure. But first I will have to organize my stuff and maybe think of strategies to attain my goals. I have my 30 Before 30 list which isn't finished yet and I am actually annoyed that the person I hate most in the world is making hers as we speak. Sorry for the incoherence. Anyway, I think I need to organize my thoughts, my goals and post them somewhere conspicuous so I will be reminded. 

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So how exactly am I going to do that? THIS IS FRICKIN' FRUSTRATING. There are two things I want to be: 1) a landlady of leisure, and 2) a shopping housewife. How materialistic, ya? I think I just realized that I need to put an adjective somewhere in there. So now there are two things I want and need to be: a happy landlady of leisure and a happy shopping housewife. Hoho! We are aiming for that but if God has other plans like making me a happy landlady of leisure but a happy shopping singleton then I think I can live with that. Though I am still hoping to having my own family, I'm just preparing myself for the worst-case scenario. 

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So from now on this will be my mantra: I WILL. But to do that I guess I have to unglue my fat arse off the seat. And that's another thing- LOSE FRICKIN' WEIGHT. I am so disappointed with myself because I let myself go and instead of doing something about it I just kind of wallowed in it. So there's another thing I have to do something about- the weight issue. 

Oh I am not depressed, just one of those days that I think I need so I can reassess my life and prioritize. Plus it's really gloomy outside and gloomy days have that effect on me. I need a pick-me-upper!!! Actually, I think I'm at the crossroads of my life. Some options were presented and I am conflicted. Well because I think I am enjoying what I'm doing with my life right now (the business, I own my time, etc) but in the real world, it's not going to work. Am I still young? Because I consider myself one and sometimes I worry if I'm still young or I just think that and maybe I'm wasting my time away tapos one day I'll just realize I'm frickin' old and I haven't done something productive with my life. I just don't want to wake up one day and realize that I've wasted so much time. 

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So I declare from now on I AM GOING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. HELL, I AM MAKING IT HAPPEN AS WE SPEAK. I AM MAKING IT WORK.