Um..

 I woke up today laughing. 

Nanaginip kasi ako. 

I may have not recalled it as accurately, but here it goes:

I was on my way to the Church. I was walking in my wedding dress. Apparently, it's my wedding day. But while I was walking, I suddenly felt the need to pee so I went back to what I suppose was where we were staying for the wedding preps (basta somewhere, hindi ko alam). When I reached the steps going up that somewhere, my friend A was sitting on the steps and there were also some people there). As I took a step, I threw my bouquet and said, "Ayoko na magpakasal! Joke lang. Ang mahal kaya!" 

Tapos when I was inside the bathroom, I accidentally turned the shower on so nabasa ako. Not naman soaked, but still! I was in my wedding dress. Tapos hirap na hirap akong tanggalin yung damit ko kasi nga iihi ako. So anyway, after peeing, I stepped out of the bathroom and found my sister AC and Mommy. Tapos tsaka ako umiyak, sabi ko ayoko na talaga magpakasal kasi wala sila doon at dahil  hindi ko pa nga nakakausap yung papakasalan ko. 

Tapos nagising na ako. 

Anyway, wala naman akong balak magpakasal at kahit balakin ko man ay malayo siyang mangyari that's why I find it funny. At in fair, payat ako sa panaginip ko. Baka hindi pala ako yun hahaha. 

So there I just want to document this dream kasi kakaiba siya. 

Dreamgiver, puede mag-request? Puede ko mapanaginipan BTS tonight? Lelz. Matagal-tagal na since I last dreamt about Jimin. At talagang si Jimin lang ang laging nasa panaginip ko. Harhar. 

Okay good night! 

Thunder only happens when it's raining

Lately, I've been having weird dreams... actually, more like nightmares. Dreams are associated with pleasurable things and what I have dreamt about were nothing near pleasurable. Maybe I haven't been praying before I went to sleep... or I haven't been really praying. Call it old-fashioned but I think that has something to do with it. Or maybe it also has something to do with the subconscious, I don't know.

First dream was two nights ago. I was in my mommy's home in the province. I can't really remember much, only the details that I was being chased by punk-ish creatures who wear black shirts with skulls on them. After a long chase, I went some place I thought they wouldn't find me- sa kisame. But they found me and once they got me cornered, they started stabbing my feet and legs with... ballpens.

Dream #2 happened just this morning. I was supposed to marry someone I haven't met nor seen nor talked to-- fixed-marriage, in other words. And I was really crying because I didn't want to do it. I dreamt I was already in the hotel room, in a wedding dress, just waiting to go to the ceremony... but I was crying really really hard. I really wanted to run away but there were a lot of guests coming already. I felt as if I couldn't run away. Even people I haven't really talked to for the past 9 years or so were coming. Batchmates from high school were showing up. Playmates from childhood were showing up. Now I know how it feels to be in a marriage you were forced into.

Now, let me interpret my dreams.

Dream #1: I've always had dreams wherein I was chased a lot. According to dream interpretations, "Chase dreams may represent your way of coping with fears, stress or various situations in your waking life. Instead of confronting the situation, you are running away and avoiding it." Hmm... parang may katotohanan. When I worked in a call center, I dreamt of being chased. When I went into law school, I dreamt I was being chased up the neverending stairs of a tower where I had to have my cases photocopied and the photocopying machine is at the top floor. I went AWOL from the call center. I withdrew from law school. Go figure.

Dream #2: "To see a wedding in your dream, symbolizes a new beginning or transition in your current life. Dreams involving weddings are often negative and highlight some anxiety or fear. It often refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow, or death. Alternatively, wedding dreams reflect your issues about commitment and independence. "

Maybe I have dreamt about this because of a sister's impending wedding. Maybe I'm scared as to how life would be without them. I hope it's nothing negative. But then again it may also has something to do with my issues about independence. And bitterness. And sorrow.

But there's also another interpretation: "A wedding is a union of opposites. To dream of a wedding is most likely to represent the coming together of the opposite aspects of your personality." This is much much better. I hope this one is it.