in limbo

if i remember correctly, this would be the second post in this blog with this title. not for lack of creativity (which i think i really lack anyway) but because that's how i really feel- in limbo. [while typing the word limbo, i accidentally omitted the letter b and came up with limo. oh how i wish i were in a limo instead. lol]

i'm praying for better days. i honestly think that i have been a good person and i think i deserve something good to happen to me, in my life. this crisis i'm going through may be insignificant compared to what others are going through and i feel such a baby because things like this send me over the edge. but you see, this is my crisis and it's killing me because i hate uncertainty. i thought i hated routines. apparently, not.

“Something inside me had dropped away, and nothing came in to fill the cavern.”

— Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

so there. that's my drama. AGAIN. feeling emptiness na naman in spite of my positivity chuva. thanks to this comforting post by charadestyle- that there are two things we can do when life's handing us rotten lemons:  

The first is to drink mint tea, because hands clasped around a warm mug make a prayer to heal. The second is to trust.

Trust your gut. Trust in the nudges the universe is giving you. Trust in yourself. Trust in light at the end of the tunnel. Trust in fate, or God, or whatever spiritual belief system you follow. Trust that you’ll smile again, because you will, and that will make it okay that you can’t smile right now. Trust that what you’re feeling only makes you human: a beautiful, vulnerable human, with a warm heart that beats. Trust that now is not forever. Trust in time. Trust in your ability to grow new roots, even if right now it feels as though they’ve been cut away. Trust in your power, in your presence, and even in your pain – we don’t feel it for nothing.

please please