in panic mode

Only 19 days until the day. Hence, I am in panic mode. I know I still have a bazillion things to do but I can't quite get myself to get to them. Parang nagfri-freeze ako. I feel like a deer in headlights- I know it's coming but I can't do anything but stare. In my case, parang nakatitig lang ako sa countdown ko, watching time slowly ticking away. Also, it's not helping that there are other stuff in my mind. Haynako.

One of the other stuff that's been bugging me is my health issue. Will be undergoing something this January and I'm freakin' scared. I hope that's just it and nothing more serious. Well, I do try to just brush it off and hope and pray for the best. Another concern regarding this is Provera, my meds, is making my face breakout like crazy. I hope if ever we continue with the meds, may puedeng alternative instead of Provera. Though I am happy with my appointment this morning cos I waited only for 10 minutes and it was my turn already. I went there na kasi yesterday and told doc's secretary to put me first in line Saturday. Next time I need to see my doctor, I'll be there verrry early. I'd rather go there early and wait for 30 minutes even before they open clinic than wait for 4-5 frickin' hours. Kailangan ko na ata talagang magpakabait at wag masyadong high blood (meaning, bawal na maging iritable, impaciente and praning) dahil baka tama ang sabi ng aking college friendly friends, every time nagsusungit ako namamatay ang hormones ko. Arrr...  And oh, I lost two lbs. which for me such a small number but according to my doctor, good na daw. I'm more inspired to lose weight tuloy. Target: 115 lbs by December 2010.

Monday talaga I'll be a one-man production team again. Happy cos I was able to make some stuff today, at least menos na sila sa mga to-do ko. Tomorrow is Family Day so break muna from being a machine and will have Sunday lunch tomorrow but I think we'll be eating in cos it's my bro-in-law's birthday yesterday. He's in a business trip in Cebu right now and he'll bring Cebu lechon with him tomorrow. Huwaw! Oops, diet pala ako. But the doctor said I can have a cheat day. Bahahaha!

Anyway, feel ko lang talaga mamamatay akong maaga- mabait kasi ako. Haha.