Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.- Lord Byron
"Umpisahan mo nang lumandi." That's what my sister told me recently. We both know that she's not saying na lumandi ako in the truest sense of the word, but to go out and mingle and network. She said that if I wait further, until I'm in my 30s to do so, chances are getting slim and if ever I will fall in love (for the first effin' time!) at that age, it could be detrimental if it wouldn't end with a happily ever after. I don't know. I still maintain that it would depend on the person because every person has his own way of coping. If ever such happens to me, I don't think I would act as if my whole world would crumble down and would want to die. That's what I think, but I could be wrong.
Fergie* is currently distraught by what happened to her and her failed love relationship. Well, it was already wrong to begin with and all the other conditions point to FAIL! I don't know why she's still holding on to it. I believe she's a smart, sensible and strong woman but why can she not apply rational thinking in this situation. I sometimes get annoyed na with all her mukmok moments pero nga, walang basagan ng trip. Pero paano kung kabasag-basag naman ang trip niya? She feels sad and depressed. I tell her to not dwell on it and just decide to be happy. There are some things that are beyond her control and if this one didn't turn out as she hoped it would, then find another. Easier said than done, I know. But I really feel that instead of moping, she could direct her energy into getting to know other men. Moping wouldn't change a thing. It wouldn't change the situation. I like to help her but I don't know how. I get sad whenever I see her sad over this but all I can do is offer her what I know and that is deciding to be happy in spite of all shittiness. That and to pray for her.
I'm not one to write about this stuff because I haven't gone through anything like this or any experience remotely close to what happened to her but I'm just saying what I think is rational. Pero nga sabi, Love is like pi. It is irrational. LOL So maybe there's some truth to what Lord Byron said. I just hope Fergie can rise above this. In my case, I think kailangan ko na ngang lumandi pero hindi ko alam kung paano. I have three more years before I hit 30, but really, what is considered late in life. Is 30 late? Or are we talking about 50s here? Ay ewan. Although I am not resigned to the possibility that I could remain single all my life, I have already made a pact with myself that whatever happens, I will not mope and curse my life if I do. I wouldn't let it define me. I am still praying for the best, just preparing myself for the worst. They say the secret is a hoax, but there's no harm in trying the method. After all, it doesn't cost anything to send an order to the universe, kaya oorder na ako~
*not her real name
Disclaimer: Hindi ako nagsasalita ng tapos dahil ayokong kainin ang sinabi ko. The abovementioned is what I said I think I would do if ever I get into such a situation. I could be wrong, but I am hoping otherwise.
2 comments:
ako ba to? hehehehehe! I have moved on already.....my bf na a ko. Well, kung hindi ako to, just be patient with her like what you did to me. Three years tita Joy.... Just like what you said, Its easier said than done. I am very thankful with all your efforts and encouragement for making me value myself again... to think happy... stay happy.... your advices are my way of coping in my siyuation right now.... musta?
Note: Mahabang Comment (naka-relate 'ata ako. hehe. :P)
moving on is easier said than done. especially, through the eyes of an outsider. gaya nga ng sabi dun sa isang blog entry mo, it would take more than forever to forget. kung pwede lang sigurong i-umpog ang ulo sa bato para makalimot, ginawa na siguro ni Fergie* yun. o kaya ung parang sa "Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind" na pina-erase ang memory makalimot lang, i'm sure kung ganun kadali ginawa na nya yan. Kung parang file lang sa computer yan, na pwedeng i-ctrl+shift+delete ang mga gustong makalimutang bagay, siguro mapupudpod ang mga daliri ng lahat ng taong gustong makalimot. Or kung may gamot na nabibili, to make the "hurting" go away, siguro kahit magpa-overdose sya, ok lang. Pero.. wala kseng gamot. Walang shortcut. Walang instant solution. Hindi pwedeng parang magic na bigla na lang mawawala. Bawat tao may coping mechanism. Siguro, si Fergie*, ganyan ang way nya para makalimot. Ikaw, ang role mo naman ay umalalay at makinig. Kahit hindi ka sang-ayon, makinig ka lang. Minsan kse mahirap yung walang masabihan. Darating din yung time na malalampasan nya yan. At isa pa, dapat sa sarili na nya mismo manggaling ung initiative, para gradually maka-move on na sya. Pwede syang bumiyahe, mag-aral, sumali sa sports, etc, etc. Bawal ang idle moment. Kse lalo lang nyang maiisip ang mga bagay na dapat ng kalimutan. Sa mga ganitong pagkakataon din kse, hindi rin talga totoo yung eventually makakalimutan mo na. In the end, you will just have to get used to the idea na hindi talga. Hindi meant to be. Sabi nga, it's not letting go, it's just getting used to the way things are... and moving on to a new chapter of life.;)
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