Peter Pan Syndrome Begone

I need a haircut and a hair treatment and a facial.

And I need to grow up.

This forthcoming new year, I'm planning to shed my childish ways and try to become a grown-up. Hard as it may be for me, I reckon it is for my own good. I need to take things seriously and not always make jokes when talking about serious stuff. But I think I'm already in for a good start since I'm more positive now. Of course, I still can't stop "telling the truth about other people" ;) But at least, personally, I don't have those crying spells anymore. Although I still can't help but think about yesteryears and have regrets. That is one thing that I have to learn to do without- dwelling on the past. I reckon I am wasting too much time in retrospection that I don't spend enough time in the now and I'm afraid that that will be something I'll regret in the future. Like being caught up in a vicious cycle and I want OUT!

Regret is one thing I have to battle right now. As we speak, I have a lot of regrets. Some even stemming from my childhood like when I was told to take up ballet lessons during summer break but I didn't want to because it would take too much of my playtime. I also regret that I didn't think for myself when choosing a course for university. I also regret that I didn't do well in school. I regret that I was too uptight and let my anxieties get the best of me. If I were to list all of my regrets, the list could go on forever. I wanted to a lot of things but because of my indecisiveness, still am nothing. That's one thing I want to do, to focus on what I really want to be and work on it so I'll be an expert on my field and not be hopping from one field to another. To be able to do that, I need to resolve my personal issues and quit wallowing in the past.

Is the way to success just a path you just have to choose to take? Or is it something elusive that no matter how you try to capture it, you just can't? I guess I should just take a leap and see for myself and who knows I might just find it. And if I don't, at least I could say at least I tried my best. As according to a Lighthouse Family song,

If you never, say goodbye
To the best thing in your life
There are things you don't appreciate
At all
So it's best that you don't try
Holding back the time
Are you ever, gonna be
Quite satisfied