What to do?

Yesterday morning I was woken up by my sister. My father wants to talk to me daw. I thought what matter is so urgent that I had to be waken up. So I had a long distance scolding. Technically, it's not a scolding since he was just showing me the cards of the game. He's making the facts of life known to me. No offense taken. It hurt because all he was saying were true and it hit me right smack into where it should hit me.

So for the nth time I am a faced with this question: Ano ba talaga ang balak ko sa buhay ko? What the hell do I want to do with my life? In Charlee's words: Ano'ng gawa mo sa buhay mo tita joy?

The answer is: I do not know YET.

What the people around me are saying is right- that I am not getting any younger. I am approaching a quarter of a century and yet I haven't had anything I can say as an accomplishment. I've been trying to justify this by saying that God has better plans for me and that the right opportunity will come along. I've been coming up with those justifications for years now and until this day, there hasn't been any manifestations of what I believe in. God helps those who help themselves, so maybe I haven't been doing anything.

I know it's a decision I have to make. It's a decision I JUST have to make.

My Daily OM Horoscope yesterday was so right on...

August 13, 2007
Self-Conscious Inhibition
Virgo Daily Horoscope

Today may find you feeling self-conscious. This may lead to situations in which you would prefer to be alone, but instead find yourself among people, so you choose to keep a low profile. This could inhibit you from participating in the way you normally might, but you can give yourself permission to hang back and observe for a change. Trust the universe enough to know that there is a reason for you to be where you are, and also trust your intuition to guide you to the appropriate response to your surroundings. When you can align these perspectives, you may be able to find the purpose behind your presence in whatever situation you find yourself today.

Your self-consciousness may be telling you that you are not quite ready to share what is inside you, like a premature baby. Your inhibition may be based on the quality of your present audience, acting to keep you protected from unappreciative eyes until you are surrounded by more a supportive crowd. Your low-profile may allow you to observe those around you to find the people most likely to understand and connect with you and your goals. And your desire to be alone may be for a chance to hone your skills or prepare yourself in other way for an opportunity to come. By working with your intuitive guidance, you can find a gift in every situation and make the most of every moment, today and every day.

As for the moment, I still am clueless.