I am frustrated with regard to a lot of things. Right now, everything seems so bleak. I really intend on envisioning a bright future for myself but somehow fear gets the best of me and then I start to think about the scary shit.

***

Moving on to the good stuff that happened this past weekend.

I had my birthday celebration last Saturday. We had a small family gathering here in the house since Manang Cathy, Marco and Ashley are home from Italy. I didn't bother inviting anyone over since I know they wouldn't go naman. Anyway... the celebration was just an excuse for me to eat all my favourite food, drink lots of Coke and have them buy me Becky's Kitchen's Swiss Chocolate Cake. It was nice getting together with family you haven't seen for awhile. Usap-usap. Ashley Rose was sleeping the entire time. It was a bummer that I didn't get to play with her.

Then last Monday, I accompanied MM to some agencies somewhere in the Manila area. I feel for her with regard to her sentiments and frustrations. I kind of know how she feels and could relate to her since I think that I, myself, am going through such. I don't wanna go into specifics. And I know family members only want to help and rev you up but sometimes they have no idea that what they're doing puts you down and leaves you even more frustrated and with a dwindling self-esteem.

I really believe that money doesn't equate to happiness and success. Just because some people are contented with what they have, that doesn't mean that they don't have any ambition. Maaaring hindi lang talaga sila ganid sa pera. May ibang tao na gusto lang naman ay simpleng buhay~ basta nami-meet lahat ng pangangailangan, okay na. Pero may mga tao rin na gusto lahat-lahat, kumplikadong buhay at walang kakuntentuhan. And most probably, those people who think that they would be happier if they have more money end up more miserable because of their love for money and for being materialistic. Money and material things only give you a fleeting sense of happiness. I think it's time we enjoy the simpler things in life. Buhay talaga, or better yet.... tao talaga! Kasi nga naman, simple lang ang buhay pero ginagawang kumplikado ng tao.

MM and I watched You are the One in RP. It was so nice of MM cos she treated me to lunch and movie. The reason why we watched it was because AC specifically instructed me to let MM watch it for MM is the girl in the movie. We feel that she could totally relate to it. And what's really funny was she would go "Ako yan!" or "ganyang-ganyan si *** pag pumupunta ako sa agency." Nyahaha.

not so happy birthday

It was my birthday yesterday. It wasn't really a happy one. More like a typical day... daming ka-bad trip-an. I did try to make it happy for me. But hell, it it didn't work.

I got nice gifts though. I got 2 shirts, a magic wallet and Paolo Coelho's El Zahir. My mom gave me a religious meditation book. Ya. Okay. I think she thinks I'm possessed by evil spirits. Okay lang kasi alam ko hindi totoo. Nyahaha. Yay! Daddy is coming home on Saturday... for my birthday. And before I forget, I got myself a screen guard for my phone... for my birthday. How bongga is that? %(

I bought pancit from Ado's to treat the girls at the spa. We had dinner at Lasa. The food was good especially the baked tahong and crispy pata. But the shitty part was when mommy decided to unearth all the drama and talk about it over my birthday dinner.

I just wanna say I miss my fuchsia birks. They're missing and I really, really miss it. Boohoo...

Doraemon's Words of Wisdom

"Hindi mo dapat iyakan ang nakaraan. Isipin mo, bakit sa harap nakalagay ang mata? Iyon ay para lagi mong makita ang hinaharap."
~ Doraemon

Pick Flick: My Girl and I

Title: My Girl and I (Cha Tae-hyun, Song Hye-gyo)

I initially thought that this was a comedy since it was a Cha Tae-hyun movie and based from all the pictures I've seen on the forums.

But during the first few minutes of the movie, I somehow knew that this would be a drama. And I knew that someone would die at the end. And I knew it would be Song Hye-gyo judging how pale her complexion was in the movie. I used to hate SHG during her Autumn Tale days but I grew fond of her when she starred opposite Bi in Full House. And although she is also sick in this movie, as also her role in Autumn Tale, she wasn't portrayed as a weakling.

I liked the movie although I fell asleep for a wee bit while watching. This is a tearjerker but I cried not at CTH and SHG's scenes but at the grandfather's scene.

The grandfather told his grandson (CTH) of his first love. Apparently, his halmone (grandma) wasn't his grandpa's first love. Him and his first love were separated cos her family disapproved of him due to disparate family backgrounds: the typical rich girl falls in love with poor boy. So they went on with their lives, he married somebody else and hasn't seen the girl since then. Then one day, a woman who turned out to be a daughter of the love of his life went to his place of business (he operates a funeral parlor). She asked him if he could prepare her mother's funeral. The saddest part was when he was wrapping the body in a cloth while the family stood there, watching and crying. After he was done wrapping the body, everyone left the room and that was the only time when he started to cry. He even apologized to her that he wasn't able to buy her clothes when they were still together and to just settle first with the cloth he has wrapped her with, saying that he made it for her (I suppose he was referring to the embroidery on the cloth).

I like this movie. I just hate the fact that it made my head hurt from all the crying.

Latest Read: The Book of Lists

Due to boredom and not having something to do, I finished another book, The Book of Lists. I am a sucker for trivia and my brain can only retain information of trivial matters.

The book was okay though. Some parts were very interesting while some were boring. I liked the stupid thieves portion, the Words section and 15 Strange Stories entry the best. There were a lot of unuseful trivia ~ except maybe if they were asked in a game show and the prize money is 1,000,000 or more. I've read that there's a word for the space between the eyebrows on a line with the top of the eye sockets: Ophryon; that the space between the thumb and the extended forefinger is called a purlicue.

Another entry I like is Oscar Wilde's Sayings. They were really witty and I can't help but make them one of my favorites. Here are some of them"

1. I don't recognise you - I've changed a lot.

2. Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

3. To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

4. I can resist anything except temptation.

5. Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

Source: The Book of Lists: The Original Compendum of Curious Information, David Wallechinsky & Amy Wallace

Another source of my daily cravings of trivia is www.mistupid.com.

Idol ko kasi si LA Lopez. Bwahaha!! Trivia, trivia... uh-huh!

Isip Isip

While watching [Channel V] last night, I saw someone who has an uncanny resemblance al amor de mi vida. The guy really, really, really looks like him~ the specs, the goatee... basta. For a moment there, I would really like to believe that it was him I was seeing on tv. At the risk of sounding really pathetic, I need to say that I need some sort of closure such as he's already married or gay... whatever. Well, the feeling doesn't really haunt me on a daily basis. Let's just say that once in a while, I reminisce about it. For example, yesterday when Juno sent me a sappy, mushy quote... guess who it reminded me of ~ no less than him. So today all my thoughts are of him. This feeling may go away later or tomorrow... uhhh, wait, this might last pala until the end of this month cos it'll be his birthday el 30 dia del agosto which is exactly a week before mine. He'll be 28 by then, 4 years older than I am.

Crap. This feeling's really crappy but I still wish I'd see him just so I could say that I don't like him anymore. The only source of information I have of him is his friendster account and he has taken it down already. So now I am very much clueless as to what he's up to. Friendster's really handy for in-denial stalkers like me. Haha. Anyway, the last thing I knew of him was that he broke up with his Filipina girlfriend (who just happened to be my sister's barkada back in 7th grade... small world, riiiight).

Mortal love is but the licking of honey from thorns.

Then again, was it really love?

Just practicing

iHola! Otra vez, estoy aqui para poder expresar mis pensamientos y lo que sea.

He estado en la casa todo el día. Limpié mi cuarto. Ví el serie Meteor Garden otra vez. Jejeje! Pero ayer, fui al mi clase en Instituto en Kalaw. Llegue tarde. Mi clase empieza a la una por la tarde y salí mi casa a la una tambien. Jajaja! Y el durante la clase, tenía sueño. Cojí el LRT y MRT con Josette y Anne. Anne y yo fuimos al Shangri-la para comprar meal # 6 en McDonalds. Ayy.. ique barbaridad! una vida muy aburrida...

Las cosas en nuestro negocio esta bien. Día al día, clientes nuevos vienen. Es una buena cosa porque significa que la gente, poco a poco, has taken notice de nuestro foot spa. Lo siento, estoy practicando mi español... y lo sé... mi español es muy mal!

Ayyy.. Ya estoy en nivel 11 y todavía no domino el idioma. iQue triste! Despues pagando mas o menos 22,000 pesos... todavía no sé. Y hasta hoy, las cosas que puedo decir son me llamo, ya tengo hambre, vivo en... joder...