Val, Loving Too Much is your primary love story!
The Loving Too Much story stems from your overflowing love and hope. Sometimes, however, it can be muddied by misguided feelings, expectations and sometimes, an unrequited desire.
The people you're most attracted to are usually just out of reach and all the more alluring for it — like those early crushes on teen idols. The less available your partner is, emotionally and physically, the more desirable he becomes.
You daydream, and your imagination fills in the details that reality hasn't provided. Do you ever seek out indirect contact with this person, visiting his workplace or getting to know his friends? Do you find yourself dreaming about marriage after a second date, or perhaps after a quick affair? The hit film "Fatal Attraction" illustrates an extreme version of the Loving Too Much story — taking it to abnormal levels. What it doesn't fully explore is the capacity for love that you probably possess.
People who share your story have plenty to offer, but they tend to put too much love into someone they shouldn't. Some people also interpret their partner's actions as they want to, not necessarily as they were intended. Sometimes this happens because they spend more time focusing on the fantasy of a relationship rather than the reality of one. It is also possible that you assign characteristics of your last love to the person you are dating.
Psychologists see people projecting all the time. Projecting feelings about one person onto another. Do you know the person you have developed feelings for, or are you projecting what they might be like because they seem to match what you want in life? Do you fall for anyone in a lab coat because you want to marry a doctor? Do you ignore strong feelings for a long-time friend because he isn't a doctor?
The Greeks had Venus and the Romans had Aphrodite. Your archetypal love story has been filling the pages of literature and poetry for centuries, though recently it's been negatively promoted by Hollywood. In film, the extreme form of your story can be found in the stalker of "Play Misty for Me." But let's not forget the classic "Cyrano De Bergerac," whose obsession with a woman is stymied by his fear she'll reject him over the size of his nose. In a more contemporary version of the tale, "The Truth About Cats and Dogs," Janeane Garofalo plays a woman obsessed with a man she's too afraid to court herself. These love stories are powerful precisely because they are shared by so many. Though the settings change, the story remains the same.
Loving Too Much is about the things in life that you don't think you can have, then learning to create a more realistic ideal for yourself and your partner. It's about working through the fear of rejection, insecurities, and overwhelming longing to love wholly and completely.
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