Family and close friends know that I like celebrating my birthday. Pagkatapos pa lang ng Christmas, I always say, "malapit na birthday ko," which is actually on September, nine months after Christmas. But alas, this wasn't the case this year.
Around a month ago, one of our house helps, Mimi, told me she wasn't feeling well, that she had a sore throat. Since we don't really go out, I dismissed it as one of her "episodes" since this girl would always not feel well most especially if it's her monthly period. So ayun, binigyan ko lang siya ng Lola Remedios. That was August 9.
The morning of August 12 she was coughing and my sister heard it. I told my sister that Mimi wasn't feeling well- may ubo at may sipon. Sabi ni Ate sa kanya, "eh bakit andito ka pa sa baba?" She was sent to isolation right away at buti na lang, because after two days she told me that she had lost her sense of taste. At this point I was still in denial. Hindi naman nga kasi kami lumalabas. Sobrang dalang. So I messaged her and asked her where she thinks she could have gotten it, if it was it. Sabi niya a day before the ECQ (Aug 6), she was asked to buy gata and sago in the market when she accompanied Nonoy to the apartment. Tinanong ko siya, "Maraming tao?" Sabi niya, "Oo." Sabi ko, "Eh, bakit ka tumuloy?" Natakot daw siya na baka magalit si Mommy at Daddy sa kanya. Sentido comun diba? Pero siguro napangunahan siya ng takot.
The morning of August 14, our Manang already had a case of the sniffles. And so she we asked her to go up her room and isolate right away. This was when it has sunk in- that our household may have been infiltrated by the virus. Pero in denial pa rin ako ng slight. We wanted to make sure so we booked for a home service swab test on August 15, Sunday. The results came in August 16. Positive si madam. Hindi na namin pinatest si Manang. If Mimi was positive, for sure Manang also was since they share a room. This was when my brain went into overdrive. Overthinking galore. We had to practice social distancing inside the house and wear masks because at that time we didn't know yet who else had it. Bawat ubo ng tatay ko, parang tumatalon ang puso ko. Nung isang gabi na sumakit lalamunan ng nanay ko, parang hihimatayin ako sa kaba. We consulted my Dad's pulmo on what to do since we had a positive person in the house and we're close contacts. He gave us meds to take and instructed us to get swabbed on the 7th day after last exposure. Eh hindi ako mapakali. We scheduled a swab on the 5th day instead. Not following directions si ako. Hay.
And since Mimi and Manang were on quarantine, Ate and I had to do the chores ourselves. Hindi ako marunong magluto at si Ate naman WFH. Our arrangement was she'll cook and I will do the dishes. Nangyari most of the time was we just ordered cooked food from the village marketplace, pay via GCash and just get the delivery para less interaction. But a few days after Mimi and Manang started quarantine, Ate started not feeling well. She always gets dysmenorrhea on her first day but since these are not normal times, we can't be too sure. OMG grabe yung anxiety level ko! Ang pulse rate ko ay naglalaro between 104 to 116. I slept in the other room kasi nga diba para sure. But in the other room I can hear my Dad coughing at night or in the wee hours of the morning. By the way, he has COPD so he has been like that even before the pandemic started but I feel mas naging worse dahil andito lang sila sa loob ng bahay for 18 months now. Pero alam mo yung feeling na simpleng ubo nga lang ba siya o ibang ubo na? Ayayay! Ang babaw ng tulog ko. I'd wake up at 2am. Sleep again. When my dad would cough again at around 4, magigising ako ulit. Tapos I had to wake up at 6am to cook rice.
N AP A G O D A K O M G A B E S H! I think if it was just the manual labor, kaya ko eh. Pero kasama yung anxiety, sobrang napagod ako. And I lost 4 kilos! On normal conditions, that would be cause for celebration pero dahil nasa pandemya tayo at merong positive noon sa bahay namin, hindi ako masyado natuwa. Eh paano kakaunti lang tulog ko tapos wala akong ganang kumain. The last time I felt that was when I was in law school for two weeks- so anxiety nga siya.
And while our household was on quarantine, my other sister broke naman her news to use that she was positive too. And her son had just underwent a heart surgery just a few weeks before. So dagdag na naman sa anxiety ko.
After two weeks (a little over two weeks, actually), we scheduled Mimi and Manang for a saliva test to confirm lang that they're negative already before we let them come down. We got Mimi's result on August 31 but we let her come down Sept 2 pa, just to be sure. We didn't get Manang's result right away, kaso mabubuang na daw siya sa kwarto nila so we consulted our dad's pulmo na lang ulit and asked if we could let her come down na after three weeks. Safe naman na daw. So ayun.
But even after three weeks of isolation, I still was praning. We're still practicing social distancing and double masking inside the house. No going out unless very necessary.
And I still wasn't in the mood to plan anything for my birthday. I wanted to sana but I couldn't. At that time I was still imagining all the worst-case scenarios in my head. I couldn't even get to distract myself with BTS and my Kdramas. I'm grateful for my sisters and cousin who sent food and cake ayuda- Thai food and Mango Bravo cake from Conti's from AD, chocolate cake from Dodoy and Jungkook bento cake and Borahae pillow from V and family.
Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10💓
